Is anyone else wondering how Christmas is over already? It was the quickest holiday season I can remember but it has been one of my favorites. One of the hardest adjustments for me living in the South has been it being so warm at Christmas time. Don’t get me wrong, I love being able to enjoy the warm air most of the year, it’s just something about it being cold and even seeing snow that makes it feel magical. So when our favorite local weatherman Ed started saying we were going to have freezing temperatures, I was so excited to feel the chill in the air while breathing in all of the sights and sounds that warm my heart and soul. We were lucky enough to have all 3 of the kids with us for a few days and spent time playing cards, eating my first oyster ever (full disclosure-I still can’t eat them raw but Ben put them on the grill and they were amazing!), we took naps and laughed a lot. Those sweet moments are worth the time to stop what I’m doing and etch it in my memory. Whoever said the days are long but the years are short didn’t lie.

We then spent the last few days of the year in Maryland visiting family and ringing in the New Year. Maybe it was a very quiet, tired ring but that’s exactly the way I like it and it’s always been. And as much as I loved seeing everyone over the past few weeks, it was great to get home, pack up the decorations and clean up the dust bunnies. My house looks super naked right now, makes me want to go out and buy a new lamp or something.

I’m not sure if I have ever taken the time to look back on the past year and reflect on it all as much as I have with 2022. I have lived so much of my life running from pain and being uncomfortable in my own skin that I was afraid to really process it all. So I kept my mind full, jumping to the next thing, living in the future, to keep my mind distracted. The most amazing thing happens when you face the darker parts of your soul, it has less power over you. It’s like barnacles on your soul that are chipped away and your true self can finally breath. I spent 2022 digging deeper into my health issues and doing some pretty intense therapy. There were some scary moments and some really low moments but the more I uncovered, the more I noticed that I’m starting to see things clearer, the resentment is starting to fade and gratitude is making it’s way front and center. I am staying more present and giving myself room to breath. Letting go of the things that weighs me down allows me to stop in the special moments and recognize this isn’t something I want to forget.

The only way this has been possible is because of God’s relentless pursuit of my heart and all I needed to do was to look up and see it. He has cleared a path for me and strategically placed everything I have needed to meet the real me who he has always intended for me to be, in my hands. He’s done that for all of us, we just have to get out of our own way to see it. I’ve said it once and I will say it again, it’s not easy but 100% worth it.

I’m excited for 2023 not because I will be a new me but because I’m starting to meet the real me and I kinda like her.